Falling Slowly
by AllusionToAnIllusion
Summary: She trusted him. Somewhere along the way she'd let herself trust Richard Castle and it was moments like these where she doubted why she'd locked him out of her heart in the first place.


**This is for you, Elle. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Got it? Okay.**

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><p>The duo emerged from the interrogation room with a freshly closed case in hand and justice in the air. It'd been a long day but the pair had managed not only to close their latest case, but also one that had been cold for almost fifteen years. Kate looked over to the older man and his daughter standing on the other side of the bullpen, the father and daughter wrapped around each other in silence. Fifteen years ago, Jeremy, a beloved son and twin brother, had been murdered. The case was never solved. But now his family knew the truth, too bad it took another untimely death to reveal it.<p>

She nodded at the pair and the woman started to cry into her father's shoulder. The older man just looked at her before nodding slowly, his jaw set, an unspoken sign of gratitude. Her mind flickered to the image of a young man and his five year-old daughter stuck in the very same position, both wondering if their loved one would ever get justice. She knew what they had gone through.

She understood what it was like to live with that question eating away at you for over a decade. She just hoped that one day, like the father and daughter clinging to each other while silent tears rolled down their cheeks, what was left of her family would know justice as well. She hoped that her mom would get justice. She longed for that feeling of closure and white hot finally to wash over her. But for now she could settle for giving that to others, for finally giving a family the truth. She held his gaze until he turned away, his face coming to rest in his daughter's hair.

"Does this give you hope?" His voice came from behind her but she didn't look back. She didn't ask what he meant. She didn't have to.

"In a way, yes." They left it at that, sitting in their seats and doing paperwork. Well, she did paperwork. Castle mostly stared and played on his phone. "Why don't we call it a night?" The paperwork was almost finished and she had something to do. But she didn't mention that. Apparently, she didn't have to.

"Hot date?" She fixed him with a glare and a raised eyebrow. "Oh, come on. Who's the guy?" Just as she opened her mouth to tell him that her hot date was with Lanie and was most likely going to include her in old sweats and some sappy romantic comedy her phone pinged, alerting her to a text message. It was Lanie. A body just came in and she had to work.

"Not anymore." She pursed her lips before looking up and gathering her things.

"He cancelled on your first date? Sorry." Funny, he didn't sound very sorry.

"Oh shush, I was having a movie night with Lanie." She picked up her coat and slipped it on before making her way to the elevator, Castle trailing behind her.

"Well, if you're up to it, why don't you join me for some dinner?" He seemed almost shy, as if they didn't go to dinner at least weekly.

"I'm more in the mood for dessert." After spending years with immature jokes and innuendo being thrown at her she shouldn't have been surprised when his eyebrow shot up and a smirk flew to his face. "Shut it, Castle. I mean actual dessert."

"Why Beckett, I never pegged you as a dessert before dinner kind of girl." He smiled at her before leaning against the elevator wall. "Or do I just bring out your long-suppressed wild side?" He winked and she rolled her eyes.

"Come on, I know an ice cream place not too far away." She said before exiting the elevator and making her way into the warm March night.

The night was unseasonably warm and soon she shed her coat, letting the gentle breeze caress her bare arms. He reached out and plucked the coat from her hands, folding it over his arm as he continued walking down the sidewalk. She opened her mouth to protest but he silenced her with a look. Wasn't that her job? She shook her head slightly and rolled her eyes for his benefit, because she knew that's what he'd expect from her. She had a reputation to keep after all, walls to hold up. Truthfully, she thought the gesture was sweet.

"Beckett, where are we going?" The familiar whine in his voice received a genuine eye-roll. His childlike curiosity was both adorable and exasperating.

"Calm down, we're almost there. I know it's pretty much impossible for you, but try to be patient. You know, act your age for once maybe." Raising an eyebrow at him she turned a corner and stopped outside a small store, eyes traveling up to the worn sign above the door.

"I Scream for Ice Cream? Seriously?" She looked back at Castle to find him gripping the bridge of his nose dramatically as he let out a groan. "That's almost painful." He gestured toward the colorful sign, looking almost offended at the cheesy name.

"Shut up, I used to love this place. In fact, I used to think the name was the most clever name for an ice cream shop ever." She chuckled at the look of disgust that crossed his face before grabbing his arm and pulling him through the door. "Come on, I'm buying. It's the least I can do after permanently scarring you with that name. God knows how much therapy you'll need to get over it." He let out a full-bodied laugh at her teasing, a shiver running down her spine at the throaty sound. Oh God, she wanted to make him do that again. Her eyes widened at the thought and she immediately turned her gaze to the menu though she'd memorized it long ago.

There weren't many people in the shop, something she'd always liked about it. It was quaint and had a character all its own, most of the people who ventured in here were regulars and had been for a while. Hell, she'd been coming here since she was only a few years old. She looked to her side and frowned when Castle wasn't there as he usually was, staring at her or playing on his phone. She frowned, glancing around the small shop until she saw him over by the Wall of Fame. Anyone who could finish one of the famously giant banana splits got their picture on the wall along with the other brave few. She smiled, picturing Castle taking up the challenge tonight.

"What do you want, Castle?" She said as she turned back to the counter to find that it was her turn to order.

"Chocolate cone, please! And I'm buying next time." Next time. She didn't know why that made her smile but she couldn't suppress her grin at the words.

"Hi, can I have one small chocolate and one small cookie dough, please? Both in cones." The young girl, who couldn't be more than Alexis' age, at the counter smiled and ran off to prepare the cones as Kate watched Castle study each photo on the wall intently. The girl came back with their ice cream and she paid, grabbing some napkins since she was sure Castle would manage to make some sort of mess before heading over to him.

"Castle, here's your–" She was cut off by his excited gasp.

"Oh my God!" He turned to her, a grin lighting up his face as he pointed toward the wall.

"Um, yes?" Her arm was still extended toward him but he paid no attention to it.

"There's a picture of you!" He exclaimed and almost knocked the cones out of her hand when he grabbed her arm and spastically pointed at a picture of a little girl with long brunette curls hungrily devouring a banana split that was bigger than her head, ice cream smeared all over her face. "Katie Beckett" was scrawled across the bottom of the picture in hasty handwriting that had obviously been hers. She smiled at the image, caught up in the sound of her mom encouraging her and her dad insisting that she was going to get at least ten cavities, before Castle pulled her back to the present by finally taking his ice cream. She could tell by the expectant look on his face that he was waiting for her to explain but she just cocked an eyebrow at him before making her way over to a table.

He followed her lead, sitting in the chair across from her and plucking a napkin from her hand. They fell into silence, both of them eating their ice cream and enjoying the other's company. They didn't need to talk. They didn't need to fill the silence. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. It was just companionable, an understanding between friends. After a while, she broke it.

"I've been coming here for as long as I can remember. My parents were friends with the owners and we used to come in here every Friday night. My dad would get vanilla, something my mom always teased him about because she thought it was boring, while both my mom and I got cookie dough." She saw his eyes flick to her ice cream, understanding lighting his eyes, before she looked up at the wall of photos. "Sometimes I'd get the banana split and see if I could eat the whole thing. Usually I failed miserably, that picture is from when I was eleven and was the only time I actually finished it." They both chuckled and he smiled at her as she licked her ice cream again, memories flooding her mind at the familiar taste.

"You were adorable, by the way. A heartbreaker from the start, I know it." His eyes twinkled and she could feel her lips curving into a smile, one that she didn't even try to hide.

"Hardly." She snorted and silence enveloped them again as they ate, both of them occasionally glancing at her picture on the wall. "Eventually we just came here for special occasions – birthdays, straight A's, you know." She looked down and started ripping apart the end of her napkin, needing something to fidget with so she didn't get caught up in the bittersweet memories. "And then when my mom died and my dad lost himself, I'd come here just to remember the way she always said I'd get it next time when I inevitably gave up on the banana split or how she shoved her ice cream in my dad's face when he teased her about how the guy at the counter never failed to check her out. I just…I didn't want to forget."

She looked up at him and found comfort in his eyes. She was sure her own were shiny from unshed tears but she couldn't find it in herself to care if he saw her this way. She found that she didn't mind if he saw her vulnerable. It was a dangerous thought, but she pushed away the little voice in the back of her head telling her to turn and run. She knew she could trust him, however terrifying that realization was. "I don't want to forget."

She watched as he waged a war with himself, furrowing her brow as she saw contradicting emotions cross his face before one she couldn't quite read set in. He hesitantly moved his hand until it was covering her own, that unreadable expression and something akin to fear painted in his eyes. When she didn't move away he got bolder, caressing the back of her hand with his thumb. She smiled at him, it was small but still there, an acceptance of the comfort he wanted to give her. He squeezed her hand in return.

"You won't forget, Kate." Another slow swipe of his thumb against her knuckles. "You'll always have those memories." And then another. She only nodded at him, an unspoken thank you. And then his hand left hers, silence settling in again as they finished their ice cream, both of their thoughts wandering. She finished up her ice cream cone, threw her napkin in the trash and got up from her seat. He started to stand too but she pushed him back down with a hand on his shoulder.

"I'll be right back. Try not to break anything." She made her way down the narrow hallway in the back toward the bathroom. She couldn't help but think about how natural it was with him. She could let him comfort her without fear of looking weak. She could share the memories she only let a select few in on.

She trusted him. Somewhere along the way she'd let herself trust Richard Castle and it was moments like these where she doubted why she'd locked him out of her heart in the first place. The reasons would come flying back soon enough, but for a moment Kate let herself really and truly entertain the thought of letting him in fully. She looked at herself in the mirror while she washed her hands and thought about what it would be like. And then it was gone – the moment over, her daydreams quelled, and her walls flying back into place.

Walking out of the hallway she saw him snapping a picture of the image of her younger and much more carefree self with his iPhone. She could tell he was trying to be discreet and almost laughed at how much he was failing at being anything close to that particular adjective. She probably should've reprimanded him, or at least teased him about it. But she only smiled before innocently walking back over to their table, pretending she hadn't seen anything. When she walked up behind him he was still holding his iPhone in one hand, camera still on, and his ice cream cone in the other.

"What're you doing there, Castle?" He jumped and immediately stood, turning to face her with wide eyes.

"Um," she raised an eyebrow at him in challenge and tried not to giggle, "I was just thinking that, um, maybe you'd like to make some new memories to go along with the old ones." He waved the phone and she had to admit, it was a good save.

"Oh, why not?" For some reason, she found herself agreeing. He seemed just as surprised and waved the girl at the counter over, according to her nametag her name was Belle, asking her if she would take a picture. Castle handed the teenager his phone and came to stand by her side, but that was as far as he got. He didn't really seem to know what to do with himself, not knowing what she would welcome and what would make her dropkick him out the window.

She simply rolled her eyes at him before pressing herself into his side and sliding an arm around his waist. He seemed stunned for a moment but recovered quickly, tentatively placing an arm around her shoulders. He smiled down at her and she couldn't help the warmth that spread through her.

"Ready? I'll take a few just to make sure you guys get a good shot." At their nods, the girl started snapping pictures. Castle seemed to relax and pulled her tighter against him as his grin widened. She couldn't stop the chuckle from escaping at how adorable he was being.

"You know, I'm totally gonna tweet these." Scratch that, annoying was a far more appropriate description. She took the ice cream cone he was still holding and smashed it into his face, covering him in chocolate ice cream just as Belle took another picture. First the girl started laughing at them and she soon joined in, leaning on him even more as he looked at her, his expression one of disbelief. He walked off to the bathroom to clean himself up as she and the young girl forced themselves to stop laughing.

The teen handed her the phone and she looked through the pictures, a smile finding its way to her face and she found that she didn't want to wipe it off. The first one was of them in the original pose, her plastered against his side with his arm around her. Her smile widened at the identical grins they were both wearing. The next image perfectly captured her slamming the ice cream into his face, her expression a cross between exasperation and playfulness, while the next showed him gaping at her as she practically fell into his side laughing. She started chuckling again at the photos and just how well they seemed to describe the unorthodox relationship she and the writer had.

"You guys are really cute together." She looked up to find the teenager still by her side, smiling at her hesitantly.

"Oh, we're not…" The girl just cocked her head at her, confusion clear on her face. "Thanks." She told herself that she just didn't want to explain the weird relationship she seemed to have with Castle and the lack of boundaries when it came to personal space. Really, she knew she had another reason. But she pushed it aside. The girl nodded and walked back behind the counter, chatting with some boy.

"Ready to go?" She turned at the sound of his voice to find him standing there with both of their coats.

"Yeah, let's go." He smiled that lopsided grin of his before turning towards the door, but she stopped him with a hand on his arm. "You got a little something right there." She reached up and wiped a bit of chocolate off of the corner of his mouth, biting her lip as her hand retreated. He stared at her for a moment before smiling and opening the door, gesturing for her to venture first into the warm city air.

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><p><strong>Elle, I was really tempted to end this with "Always" just to piss you off. But, you know, I'd rather not have to hide my face in shame for the rest of my life. <strong>

**Oh, and I'm not really sure when this takes place. All I know is that it's March and Josh isn't in the picture anymore. **

**Review, my darlings? I love reviews. The relationship reviews and I have probably isn't the healthiest of relationships considering I'm addicted to them. **


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